Why the Perpetual Virginity of Mary Is Not Important! Matthew 1:18-25

 Joseph Accepts Jesus as His Son

18 This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about[ His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. 

As we saw in the genealogy of Jesus, Matthew's interest is in Joseph's role in the birth of Jesus.  Here is how the process of marriage worked in Jesus' day, 
Engagement: This could happen when the bride and groom to be were quite young, and was often arranged by the parents.
Betrothal: This made the previous engagement official and binding. During the time of betrothal the couple were known as husband and wife, and a betrothal could only be broken by divorce. Betrothal typically lasted a year. This is the state of Mary and Joseph's relationship.  He was pledged to marry her. 
Marriage: This took place after the wedding, after the year of betrothal. (Guzik)
Given the legal nature of a betrothal and the social stigma associated with a pregancy before betrothal, one can only imagine the pressure on Joseph to get a divorce.  

Joseph and Mary's relationship was in the betrothal category.

Matthew quite matter of factly states she was found pregnant through the Holy Spirit.  If anyone think the nature of Jesus' birth isn't important, consider the following.  If Jesus were born of a man, he would be sinful.  If he wasn't born of a woman he wouldn't be human.  Bottom line: if one can't believe in the way in which Mary became pregnant, then it compromises the true nature of Jesus as the God/Man.  The only way you can explain the virgin birth it is through the supernatural intervention of God through His Holy Spirit.  If we can't believe this miracle,  how can we believe in any other miracle in the bible.  

19 Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. Joseph was stuck between a rock and a hard place.  If he divorced Mary, it would bring her the unbearable stigma of sexual immorality.  Joseph knew that he didn't get her pregnant, so what should he do? Since the marriage pledge was binding, legally he had to divorce Mary to break the betrothal contract. Joseph chose to do the right thing in the tenderest possible way to the girl he loved. 

20 But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.  Once again God intervened supernaturally. As Joseph was considering which was the best course of action, and angel appeared to him in a dream.  I can't believe Joseph was sleeping very well, so I'm sure this was all quite eerie to him.  The angel addresses Joseph as a "son of David", again reminding us of the importance of the genealogy that Joseph descended from the Davidic line.  I don't know about you, but if an angel appeared to me and told me that my fiance had conceived a child through the power of the Holy Spirit I would be pretty confused.  

21 She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.” Naming a child was of huge importance in Jewish culture.  Parents often gave the child the name of a relative to keep their memory alive. Sometimes they took a name from the Torah (first five books of the Old Testament), which was their aspiration for their child. Importantly names in Hebrew always had a meaning attached to it.  Jesus' name literally meant "Yahweh's salvation" or "the salvation of the Lord".   Then Matthew gives us the specific nature of Jesus' salvific purpose.  Jesus came to save "his" people from their sins. Note "his people" would mean his fellow Jews. But in a wider application his future people would include Gentiles.  From the beginning Jesus' sole mission was to save us from our sins.  We needed a Savior and God provided it through this virgin teenager and her faithful husband. 

22 All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: 23 “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel”[g] (which means “God with us”). 

"Some versions of the Bible call her a "young woman", but every time this Hebrew word was used in the Old Testament, it referred to a virgin. In 200 BC, seventy Jewish scholars translated the Old Testament into Greek and used a Greek word here that could only mean virgin. It would not be a sign of any miracle If a young woman conceived and bore a son, but a virgin bearing a son is a miracle." Chuck Smith

This is the first time Matthew uses the word "to fulfill", which will be an important theme for him going forward.  The quote is from Isaiah 7:14.  Many of the Messianic prophecies came through Isaiah.  Note Jesus was never called Immanuel literally but it was descriptive of his purpose in life.  Just like the names given by Isaiah, "Wonderful Counselor" and "Prince of Peace" were used as descriptors as well. 

In theological terms we can this the "imminence" of God.  Meaning God came down from heaven to be with us and become one of us.  He is not some distant deity.  God took on flesh and revealed His true nature to us.  This is one of the greatest aspects of the Christian faith.  God is with you my friend, today and always.  

24 When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife.  Sometimes when we have a dream, we wake up and forget it right away, or write it off as nothing of real importance.  Yet, Joseph took the dream so seriously it changed everything for him.  He took Mary home as his wife.  It took great faith and obedience for Joseph to trust God through this dream.  He walked by faith not by sight. 

25 But he did not consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.  Matthew emphasizes that Joseph waited until after they were married to have sexual relations with Mary. 

This emphasizes that Jesus was conceived miraculously. “Matthew wants to make Jesus’ virginal conception quite unambiguous, for he adds that Joseph had no sexual union with Mary until she gave birth to Jesus.” (Carson)

The verse also seems to point to the fact that Mary and Joseph DID have sexual relations after Jesus was conceived and born.  Some see this as problematic (including all of the Protestant reformers) but i don't see why.  The perpetual virginity of Mary doesn't affect the fact that Jesus was born miraculously through the power of the Holy Spirit.  This also leaves open the possiblity that Mary may have had other children. 

"Sex in marriage is not sinful. Mary would have in no way defiled herself by having sexual relations with Joseph her husband. The entire concept of the perpetual virginity of Mary is based on an unbiblical teaching, Mary as Queen of Heaven, and on an unbiblical understanding of sex. So, what does the Bible say about the perpetual virginity of Mary? Using the New American Bible, which is a Catholic translation, we can see that the perpetual virginity of Mary is not taught in the Bible. Matthew 1:25 NAB tells us, "He had no relations with her until she bore a son, and he named him Jesus." He, Joseph, did not have sexual relations with her, Mary, UNTIL after she bore a son, Jesus." The meaning of this Scripture is abundantly clear. Joseph and Mary did not have sexual relations until after Jesus was born. Matthew 13:55-56 NAB declares, "Is He not the carpenter’s son? Is not his mother named Mary and his brothers James, Joseph, Simon, and Judas? Are not His sisters all with us?" Catholics claim, correctly, that the Greek terms for "brothers" and "sisters" in these verses could also refer to male and female relatives, not necessarily literal brothers and sisters. However, the intended meaning is clear, they thought Jesus to be Joseph’s son, the son of Mary, and the brother of James, Joseph, Simon, and Judas, and the brother of the unnamed and unnumbered sisters. Father, mother, brother, sister. It is straining the meaning of the text to interpret “brothers” and “sisters” as "cousins" or "relatives" with the mentioning of Jesus’ mother and father." (Got questions.org)