Ephesians 5 - The Key To A Good Marriage!

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Paul now turns to the more practical matters of how the Ephesians can live a life worthy of their calling. His admonitions are to the point and pretty strong. 

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. 4 Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. 5 For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Ephesians 5:3-5

Most of these Greek words have a connotation of being sexual sins. 

This emphasis on sexual sin was appropriate. The culture of Paul’s day (and in the city of Ephesus especially) was given over to sexual immorality. The sort of behavior Paul says is not fitting for saints was pretty much completely approved by the culture of his day (and our own).

I guess there is nothing new under the sun. Then, Paul says some very hard words, which we need to try and understand. 

No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient.  Ephesians 5:5-6

What does this mean? If you fall to one of these sins temptation are you kicked out of heaven? 

Paul is describing a heresy that we will see again in his letters.  This is what he means when he says, "Let no one deceive you with empty words." Basically the false teaching is that once you are forgiven, you can do whatever you want. 

Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.

Paul reminds them to live thoughtfully and intelligently, thinking about what they will do before they do it. People will be observing their behavior, so every opportunity with others will be a chance to shine God's light. 

Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, 19 speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Notice Paul condemns getting drunk on wine, not drinking wine. The bible is clear that drunkenness is always a sin. Drunkenness can open the door for other sins, especially sexual immorality.  

When Paul says, "Be filled with the Spirit!" Some might ask, "Wasn't I filled with the Spirit when I was born again?" This is why a better translation is, "Keep on being filled with the Spirit." Though we are filled with the Holy Spirit when we come to Christ, we need to be continually renewed IN THE SPIRIT. Like any relationship, our relationship with the Holy Spirit is a two way street. 

Every morning I pray, "Come Holy Spirit and fill me. Come Holy Spirit and fill our church!" 

"It is not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit says the Lord!" Zechariah 4:6

Instructions for Christian Households

It is important to read verse 21 before we read any other verses in this section. 

"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."

The model for our church community is to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. There is no hierarchy in the body of Christ. Jesus says the greatest among us is a servant. Jesus gave up his rights to be served by emptying himself and becoming a servant even to death on a cross. Therefore, as we think about the relationship between men and women it is not about one person lording it over the other. 

Paul says wives should to submit to their husbands, after he says to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Then, he says that husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the church giving himself up for her. 

You see the mutual nature of a marriage, as each person submits and respects the other as a follower of Christ. Paul also points out the mystery and nature of a married couple. 

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 

Rather than looking solely at what a husband must do, or the what a wife needs to do, we need to start from the fact we are as one in holy marriage. Paul compares marriage to Christ's relationship with the church.  Jesus loves his bride, the church, and gave himself up for her. 

If marriage starts as being united as one, we put each other’s role into the proper perspective. From this oneness created by God, we submit, love, and respect each other. It is not be about my right to do this or that but the joy we have in serving each other.

If you are married, there is no better place to show your relationship with Christ than in your relationship with your spouse. There is no person who sees us during good times and bad, at our best and at our worst.  Marriage is the place where faith, hope, and love are lived out every day. And the greatest of these is love! It never fails, because it is Christ's love that unified us, and it will keep us together!