1 Corinthians 7 - What Does the Bible Say About Sex?

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Concerning Married Life

Paul now addresses the church about a matter they wrote to him about marriage. When Paul writes, "It is good to not have sexual relations with a woman", he is not saying that sex within marriage was a bad thing. He was addressing the Corinthians' question, which stemmed from his teaching in chapter 6 where he said, "Flee from sexual immorality". They were wondering if they should have sexual relations at all, even within the context of marriage. 

Why would the Corinthian Christians suggest complete celibacy – which is what they mean by a man not to touch a woman? They probably figured that if sexual immorality was such a danger, then one could be more pure by abstaining from sex altogether, even in marriage. (Guzik)

Then, Paul addresses what a healthy sexual relationship would look like within the marriage relationship. He affirms physical intimacy between the married couple. He even goes as far as to describe it as a marital duty. This teaching has been abused, especially by men. But the fact of the matter is that he does say it is a responsibility of BOTH the man and the women to tend to each other's sexual needs. Why? Because when there is no physical intimacy in the marriage relationship, the temptation for sexual immorality is even greater. 

Paul is affirming that our sex drive is not a bad thing. Within the right context (marriage) it is a gift and blessing from God. Then, he goes as far as to say it is okay to abstain as a couple by mutual consent for a limited amount of time. The assumption there is that the couple is communicating about this subject, which is often too rare today. And, a possible reason for this would be a time to devote a time for prayer together, which is again not a common practice among Christian couples. 

Paul's teaching here is incredibly relevant for us today. The same issues exist today and if we were to implement his teaching marriage would be much healthier and marital infidelity and divorce would go way down! 

Paul then affirms why one doesn't have to be married to have a fulfilling life. He urges single people and widows that it is okay to stay in the situation they are in. But, if their sexual desire is strong, they should look to get married. Paul also affirms being single, which is his current situation. 

This may explain what is Paul's "thorn in the flesh". His own sexual desire might have made it hard for him to remain single. I was single until I was 37 so I can relate. There advantages as a pastor in being single, but also many in being married. Being married with children affords the opportunity to model love for my wife and good parenting, though I often fall far short. 

Paul also addressed other questions as well such as if, "Should I separate from my spouse, if I can be more useful to the Lord?" Paul answers this question with a definite "no" again affirming the importance of marriage in the early church. 

Paul then teaches something very interesting. If a brother or sister became a believer and their spouse was still an unbeliever, should they divorce the person, if they were willing to live with them. And then he goes as far as to say, "The believing spouse sanctifies the unbelieving spouse". 

What does this mean? Paul had already taught them that union through sexual intercourse is a holy thing, as the body is temple of the Holy Spirit. So, this could have something to do with it. 

Why would the Corinthian Christians suggest complete celibacy – which is what they mean by a man not to touch a woman? They probably figured that if sexual immorality was such a danger, then one could be more pure by abstaining from sex altogether, even in marriage. (Guzik)

 Not only does the presence of a believing spouse do good for the unbelieving spouse, it also does good for the children – and great good, because it can be said now they are holy.

i. “Until he is old enough to take responsibility upon himself, the child of a believing parent is to be regarded as Christian. The parents ‘holiness’ extends to the child.” (Morris)

ii. This is a beautiful assurance that the children of a Christian parent are saved, at least until they come to an age of personal accountability (which may differ for each child). (Guzik)

Concerning Change of Status

Paul then addresses two issues in relationship to what happens after one becomes a Christian. First, if a person is uncircumcised, they do not need to be circumcised. Circumcision was part of the Old Testament covenant God made with Abraham. It was a way of setting the Israelites apart from the other nations. But Jesus fulfilled the Old Testament covenant, so as Paul describes it our "hearts" have been circumcised. Circumcision moves from physical to spiritual in the New Testament. 

Second, he addresses slavery. Note slavery was different in the 1st century than it was in the 20th century in our culture. A first century slave gave up certain rights to their master, but the master provided for their basics needs for food and shelter. God specifically laid out specific things masters had to do to treat their slaves respectfully. 

If someone was a slave they could gain their freedom if possible. But, it was okay to stay in their current situation. The overall principle Paul was teaching was that they should remain in the situation they were in when they were called to follow Christ. A lot of people think when they become a Christian, they need to quit their jobs to become a pastor, missionary, or some full time leader in the church. But Paul advocates what I like to characterize as,"Bloom where you are planted". Why?

Because there are likely non-Christians in the role and place you currently are in. The best evangelism is "life on life" by building a relationship so as to earn the right to share the gospel with someone. This is simply the best way to grow the church. It is organic and very community centered, rathen than forced and individualistic. 

Concerning Change of Status

As previously noted Paul is pro-marriage. He thinks it is a good thing and blessed by God! But he has also said it is okay to remain single. He also says ""Because of the current crisis it might be good to stay in their current situation.

But then Paul says the following statement, "What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not."

I think this is partly due to how motivated Paul is to fulfill the Great Commission. 

Jesus told us all in Matthew 24:44, Therefore you also be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect. We are to be ready, and to regard the time as short, not only because Jesus can return at any time, but also because it cultivates a more obedient, on-fire walk with Jesus Christ.

Even without considering the return of Jesus, it is worthwhile and accurate for Christians to live as if the time is short. The Psalmist expressed this attitude in Psalm 39:5: Indeed, You have made my days as handbreadths, and my age is as nothing before You; certainly every man at his best state is but vapor. (Guzik)

Finally, Paul gives some really practical instructions which are very relevant today for young couples who are dating. 

If anyone is worried that he might not be acting honorably toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if his passions are too strong and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married. 37 But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin—this man also does the right thing. 38 So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better.

First note, he uses the word "engaged to", which might translate today to a serious or exclusive relationship leading to an engagement. Bottom line is many couples live together and have sex before marriage, including Christians. Paul advocates getting married so that sexual relations will happen within the context God intended for it to be enjoyed. Why get married?

1. It is a strong and loving commitment to each other before you share something as holy and sacred as sexual intercourse. 

2. It insures against sleeping around. After all we aren't married it isn't wrong right? 

3. If the woman gets pregnant it often compels couples to get married. Is that the motivation you want to get married?

You can see God's instruction through the inspired scriptures is always better for us in the long run than our own ideas motivated purely by desire! 

Where do you need adjust your thinking and behavior regarding your own sexuality?