Philemon 1 - Forgiveness is Always Win-Win!

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Click To Read Commentary on Philemon

1 Paul, a prisoner of Christ Jesus, and Timothy our brother, To Philemon our dear friend and fellow worker— 2 also to Apphia our sister and Archippus our fellow soldier—and to the church that meets in your home: 3 Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

You can read in the commentary, but Philemon was a slave owner, who came to Christ through Paul's missionary journey at Colossae. Apphia and Archippus were probably Philemon's wife and son. Philemon had a group of Christians from Colossae that met in his home. It was not until the 3rd century that Christians met in buildings. The norm for the churches in the first century was house churches in the city overseen by a bishop. 

Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

This was the greeting Paul used in a lot of Paul's letters. 

The expression, combining both Greek (“grace”) and Jewish (“peace”) greetings, summarizes our foundation as Christians. “Grace” is the unmerited favor of God. “Peace” is the sense of wholeness and well-being we experience when we enter into a relationship with God through faith in Jesus Christ. To put it another way, peace is the byproduct of truly encountering the amazing, life-changing power of Jesus’ grace. 

Thanksgiving and Prayer

4 I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers, 5 because I hear about your love for all his holy people and your faith in the Lord Jesus. 6 I pray that your partnership with us in the faith may be effective in deepening your understanding of every good thing we share for the sake of Christ. 7 Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord’s people.

Paul has nothing but good things to say about Philemon, and the people in his church. Philemon has demonstrated love for God's people as an expression of his faith in Jesus Christ. Faith always leads to love, or it is not true Christian faith. Paul sees Philemon and his church as partners in the gospel. Without the many partners that Paul had in ministry, there is no way he could have reached as many people as he did. 

Do you and your church have partners in ministry? The church should never be an island unto itself. Unfortunately churches have been divided by denominations, but often like minded churches partner and support other each other. They can also support other parachurch organizations doing God's work in the world. 

Philemon's ministry gave Paul great joy and encouragement knowing that the gospel he preached had taken root there and was bearing fruit. 

Paul’s Plea for Onesimus

8 Therefore, although in Christ I could be bold and order you to do what you ought to do, 9 yet I prefer to appeal to you on the basis of love. It is as none other than Paul—an old man and now also a prisoner of Christ Jesus— 10 that I appeal to you for my son Onesimus,[b] who became my son while I was in chains. 11 Formerly he was useless to you, but now he has become useful both to you and to me.

Paul was in prison in Rome, but he also considered himself a prisoner for Christ, his true master. Paul has an important matter to talk to Philemon about, and though he could require him to do what he was asking, he would rather that Philemon would find it in his own heart to do it. '

His specific ask is related to a runaway slave named Onesimus, who had runaway from Philemon. Onesimus had met Paul in Rome, when he was under house arrest. This was no chance encounter, as Paul led Onesimus to faith in Jesus. He became useful to Paul in many ways both professionally and personally. He calls Onesimus his son, showing how close he was to him. 

Not only was he useful to Paul, but Paul said he could be useful to Philemon. After all, since he was escaped, he was not currently useful to Philemon. 

12 I am sending him—who is my very heart—back to you. 13 I would have liked to keep him with me so that he could take your place in helping me while I am in chains for the gospel. 14 But I did not want to do anything without your consent, so that any favor you do would not seem forced but would be voluntary. 15 Perhaps the reason he was separated from you for a little while was that you might have him back forever— 16 no longer as a slave, but better than a slave, as a dear brother. He is very dear to me but even dearer to you, both as a fellow man and as a brother in the Lord.

Paul again refers to how close he is to Onesimus by saying, "He is my very heart". Onesimus was a huge encouragement to Paul when he was in prison, but he realized technically he was still the property of Philemon, so Paul did not want to do wrong by him. 

Paul reasoned that perhaps Onesimus had fled for the reason of running into Paul, where he came to Christ, and then was sent back to Philemon forever. Though Onesimus would be going back to Philemon as a slave, in a much deeper sense he was coming back to him as a brother in Christ. Though Onesimus was very dear to Paul, he had a hunch that he might even be more dearer to Philemon. 

 17 So if you consider me a partner, welcome him as you would welcome me. 18 If he has done you any wrong or owes you anything, charge it to me. 19 I, Paul, am writing this with my own hand. I will pay it back—not to mention that you owe me your very self. 20 I do wish, brother, that I may have some benefit from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ. 21 Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I ask.

At the end of the day Paul says "If you consider me a partner welcome back Onesimus, as you would any brother in Christ." He adds a little kicker by saying that in reality Philemon owes him big time, because Paul brought him to faith in Jesus Christ. Paul adds that if Onesimus owes him anything he will personally pay him for it. 

This is a very magnanimous act on behalf of Paul. We see his loyalty to Onesimus and the grace that he has lived his whole life by. Paul is in effect saying to Philemon, "Freely we have received God's grace, freely we should give it." Though Paul is leaving up the decision to Philemon, he makes it very clear that this is the right thing for him to do. Paul is confident Philemon will do the right thing. 

Is there anyone you need to welcome back as a brother or sister in Christ, even though they may have wronged you? Holding grudges or holding back forgiveness does no one any good. The person who is withholding lives with bitterness of heart, and other person lives unreconciled to his friend. It is lose-lose, where forgiveness is always win-win!