Luke 14 - Does Jesus Really Want Us To Hate Our Family Members?

Luke 14 - NIV

Luke 14 - Enduring Word Commentary

Verses for Today

The Cost of Being a Disciple

25 Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: 26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. 27 And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.

Commentary

One of my goals in writing the Daily Bread this year is to write on some of the more difficult passages in the New Testament. Today's passage is certainly one of those. It makes it even more difficult because Jesus is the one saying these words. 

So the question is what did Jesus mean when he said, "If anyone does not hate their father, mother, children, and siblings, such a person cannot be my disciple?"

Does Jesus really want us to hate the members of our family? 

So let's unpack this. First of all, as students of the bible, we have to realize that not every passage is meant to be taken literally. The classic example I use is when Jesus said, "If your hand causes you to sin cut it off." Matthew 5:30 

Obviously Jesus wasn't literally advocating for this kind of body mutilation. But what I do think he is saying is that we need to ruthlessly eliminate sin from our lives. He was using a common teaching style which was called "hyperbole". 

"Jesus frequently used hyperbole—intentional and extreme exaggeration—as a teaching tool to grab his audience's attention, emphasize moral gravity, and shock listeners into recognizing deep truths. This was a common rhetorical device in ancient Jewish tradition and among the rabbis of his day." Wordpress.com  

What I believe Jesus is doing is using a comparatively analogy to crowds, who were caught up in all of the miraculous things he was doing. Many were probably following him because of the signs and wonders he was doing. Jesus wanted to lay out what it meant to be to truly be his disciple, which by the way applies to all of us. 

Also, in Jesus' culture using the words "love" and "hate" were often used to express preference or "choosing one over the other".Example: In Genesis 29:30-31, Jacob is said to have "hated" Leah because he loved Rachel more.

So what exactly is Jesus saying and what does it mean for us?

I think Jesus is making it clear that He must be the absolute priority in our lives. Just as loving God is our first purpose in life, if Jesus is God then the same principle would apply. While not being anti-family, Jesus is teaching that no earthly relationship should trump our relationship with Him. This is the cost of discipleship, "Giving up our lives to follow Jesus!" Even a relationship that comes between us and Jesus. Even a parent that comes between us and Jesus.  

It does not command literal hatred, but rather calls for a devotion so deep that love for family appears as "lesser" by comparison. - Crossway

One last note, Jesus never asks us to do something that is not good for us. When we put human relationshps above our relationship with God, in a sense we are idolizing them. Though we absolutely love our family members, we will let each other down. To put someone in a relationship where they are more important to you than God, is going to sabatoge the relationship at one point, especially when the person fails us. 

Application for Life

1. Is there any relationship or thing in your life more important than your relationship with Jesus? How might that be preventing you from experiencing the abundant life Jesus has promised. 

2. By putting your relationship as the number one priority, you are putting all of your faith in Him. He is not only Your Savior but Your Lord!

Prayer of the Day

Jesus, you are truly God and the Lord of all Creation. We are called to worship and love you with all of our heart, soul, strength, and mind. Help us to realize that you are worthy of our absolute devotion. Help us to lay down the people, places, and things which threaten our discipleship to you. Amen. 


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