Divorce - Matthew 19

Divorce

19 When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. 2 Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. 3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” 4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” 7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” 8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” 10 The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.” 11 Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”

Reflection: Knowing there were some exceptions given in the Mosaic Law for divorce, the Pharisees tried to trap Jesus by asking him about divorce. Jesus cites creation as his answer, saying that by making us male and female we were made by design to be one by God our Creator. He reminds them that marriage is a covenant given by God, where God joins us together to become one flesh. Not literally of course, but spiritually. Marriage is a sacrament in the Catholic Church for this reason. And indeed it is a sacred thing, because it is God who is joining us together to become one. Because marriage is such a sacred thing that is why sexual immorality with someone outside your marriage partner is so harmful and destructive.

When the disciples hear this they realize this is a huge challenge, as it is today. They ask Jesus if it is better not to marry if this is the condition. So Jesus says if you are going to look at it this way, then yes may be better off not to marry. Meaning if you don't think you can be faithful to your spouse going into the marriage then it is probably better off to not enter into this holy covenant.

There are all kinds of things we do with this text, like assuming it is somehow better to not marry, or that being single makes one more committed to serving God. Martin Luther had a lot to say about this as he was a Catholic monk who left the monastery and married Katherine Van Bora. Luther later reflected on how much marriage, and loving his wife as Christ loved the Church gave him an idea of God's great love for us. A disciple of Christ who is married first shows his love of others in his home starting with his wife and kids if he has them.

On the flipside, it doesn't make someone any less spiritual or committed to God if they do not marry and remain single. They generally have more time to get involved in the lives of others and serve Christ as well. So we might say that in either case married or single, we have ample opportunity to live out our lives as Christ followers. I was single until I was 37 and half years old, and now have been married for about 12 and half years. In each season of my life there was ample opportunity to bear fruit in service to Christ both in the church and now my family.

Finally let's just say that in general marriages are challenged today by a world where divorce is accepted as no problem. Add to that the challenge that often both spouses work today adds pressure to young couples. The church needs to continue to offer learning and workshops for couples to renew the vows they have made, and practical ways to encourage couples to keep their vows with Christ in the center of their marriage. I also realize there are some reading this who have been through a painful divorce. There is grace and healing through Jesus, and the church needs to be a safe place for those going through this painful separation for healing and wholeness and restoration and possible re-marriage at some point in their lives.

Jesus protect our marriages. Help us to draw from your great love to love our spouses with the same love you showed us when you laid down your life for the bride of Christ, the Church. For those who are single allow them to rest in your perfect love and build meaningful relationships with others and if and when the time is right to find the right person to enter into the covenant of marriage with your blessing and support. Amen.

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