How Can I Be Quick to Listen?
19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.
James gives the antidote to anger, which leads to damaging and hurtful words. He says be quick to listen and slow to speak and slow to become angry. Why is "quick to listen" first? Because usually anger is reactive and we rarely take the time to go from our emotional reaction to staying in our head. As we are quick to listen, it gives us time to let anger subside and not act in a harsh a way.
When we listen we can at least try to understand where the person is coming from and ask clarifying questions. Often major arguments and fights are over a miscommunication. This can especially happen from emails and Facebook. When we are not in face to face interaction, we have no way to observe body language and nuances of tone and language. We don't understand the spirit of someone's remarks.
Most of all being quick to listen shows other person we care and can change their attitude from bitterness to understanding. Listening can diffuse a situation, whereas anger stokes the fire which can become destructive quickly. How often have you seen or experienced a small argument turn into a bitter and hurtful argument. Behaving in this way is also a great witness to the world.
Guess who modeled this better than anyone? Rarely did Jesus react to anyone? He usually remained non-anxious and asked a lot of clarifying questions. He often started a retort to an accusation thrown at him with, "You say..." There is a time for appropriate anger like when Jesus confronted the Pharisees, but that was not in reaction to anything other than their own hypocrisy.
James gives the antidote to anger, which leads to damaging and hurtful words. He says be quick to listen and slow to speak and slow to become angry. Why is "quick to listen" first? Because usually anger is reactive and we rarely take the time to go from our emotional reaction to staying in our head. As we are quick to listen, it gives us time to let anger subside and not act in a harsh a way.
When we listen we can at least try to understand where the person is coming from and ask clarifying questions. Often major arguments and fights are over a miscommunication. This can especially happen from emails and Facebook. When we are not in face to face interaction, we have no way to observe body language and nuances of tone and language. We don't understand the spirit of someone's remarks.
Most of all being quick to listen shows other person we care and can change their attitude from bitterness to understanding. Listening can diffuse a situation, whereas anger stokes the fire which can become destructive quickly. How often have you seen or experienced a small argument turn into a bitter and hurtful argument. Behaving in this way is also a great witness to the world.
Guess who modeled this better than anyone? Rarely did Jesus react to anyone? He usually remained non-anxious and asked a lot of clarifying questions. He often started a retort to an accusation thrown at him with, "You say..." There is a time for appropriate anger like when Jesus confronted the Pharisees, but that was not in reaction to anything other than their own hypocrisy.
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