Matthew 19 What is Jesus' Stance on Divorce?

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3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’[b]? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”

8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

Jesus addresses another difficult topic today, whether or not it is lawful to divorce one's wife.  Notice in that culture the husband had the right to divorce their wife for many reasons.  Within the Jewish culture there was disagreement over this text from Mosaic Law in Deuteronomy 24:1

"If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house."

There were two rabbinical schools of thought. One took a literal view of this passage and another applied to it all kinds of reasons a man could divorce his wife. Here is what one commentator says about these two schools of thought. Notice only the men could divorce not the women. 

"The school of Rabbi Shammai (strict and more unpopular view) understood that uncleanness meant sexual immorality, and said this was the only valid reason for divorce. The school of Rabbi Hillel (more lax and more popular view) understood uncleanness to mean anysort of indiscretion; even to the point where for some rabbis, burning a husband’s breakfast was considered valid grounds for divorce."

The Pharisees came to test Jesus.  If he interpreted it more like the strict view he might become unpopular.  But if he sided with the liberal view, he might be considered to not obey the law of Moses.  So what does Jesus do? 

Instead of getting in the middle of their argument, Jesus goes back to the Creation account and God's true intention for marriage. Marriage is not just a social construct, or a legal document, but it is rooted in God's creation of a man and woman.  Men and women are different, but when God joined them together in marriage, physically and spiritually they become one flesh.  It is God who joined a man and a women not anybody else in marriage. Marriage is holy and set apart by Him because he created and ordained it. This shows the sanctity of marriage and why getting a divorce should be the last option for a couple.  

Although Jesus declares God's intention for marriage to be a lifelong union between a man and a women, he favors the strict intention of Moses' law which allows for divorce only in the case of sexual immorality/adultery.  

Paul is also pro-marriage in 1 Corinthians 7, even though he was single.  The Corinthian church was in the midst of a culture which was rampant with sexual immorality and perversion.  Because of this fact, the Corinthians' church wondered if they should avoid sexual relations altogether.  So Paul instructs them in this way,  

1. Paul encourages couples to have sexual relations. He teaches that both man and wife have a obligation to offer themselves to each other sexually, and not deprive each other except by mutual consent.  Paul knew this was an important part of marriage.
2. He teaches them that it is okay to stay single but if one cannot control themselves, it is better to marry.

In regard to divorce he says, 

1. A wife must not separate from her husband, and a husband should not divorce his wife.  Note, women could not divorce men they could only separate them.  Paul clearly is anti-divorce. 
2. Even if a person's spouse is not a Christian, they should not divorce them, because the believing spouse sanctifies the unbelieving spouse.  See again how important Paul views the spiritual nature of the union between a man and woman.
3. If the unbeliever leaves the believer is to let them leave.
4. Paul does not overturn Jesus' exception for divorce in the case of adultery.  

So how can we conclude?  Notice it was messy in Paul's day, and it was messy in Jesus' day.  The bottom line though is both Jesus and Paul are definitely pro-marriage and against divorce because it is something  God has established not man.  But in the end Jesus, like the conservative Jewish rabbis, agrees that sexuality immorality is the only exception for divorce.  

God's clear desire is for couples to work out maritial issues, including infidelity, through love and forgiveness.  We have all  sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.  Though adultery greatly damages the trust in a marriage and creates a sense of distrust and betrayal, with God's help couples can restore their relationship through God's help and the power of forgivness.  God always gives us the strength to do what He has called us to do.