What Does the Bible Teach About Divorce?

Divorce

Mark 10 Jesus then left that place and went into the region of Judea and across the Jordan. Again crowds of people came to him, and as was his custom, he taught them. 2 Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” 3 “What did Moses command you?” he replied. 4 They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.” 5 “It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,”Jesus replied. 6 “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ 7 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 8 and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” 10 When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. 11 He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12 And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”

Divorce was a controversial topic in Jesus' day as it is today.  There were two rabbinical schools of thought within Judaism. First, there was the school of Shammai, which kept a strict view of divorce in keeping with the Mosaic law. It was unpopular with the people  Then there was the school of Hillel, which was more liberal in their interpretation and more widely accepted. 

The debate revolved around Deuteronomy 24:1 which says, "It is lawful for a man to divorce his wife except due to uncleanness".  The argument became what did "uncleanness" mean? According to David Guzik, 

"Rabbi Shammai understood that uncleanness meant sexual immorality and said that was the only valid reason for divorce. But Rabbi Hillel understood uncleanness to mean any sort of discretion, even to the point of burning the breakfast being valid grounds for divorce."

The Pharisees were testing Jesus to see what side he would take. He says that Moses did not command divorce but permitted it. Jesus says it was due to, "the hardness of people's heart this law was added".  Hardness of heart on the part of an adulterer who would not repent, or the offended party who would not forgive.  Generally commentators agree that the provision for divorce was protection for the woman in Jesus' culture. With a certificate of divorce women could remarry and be protected from being stigmatized by the community.

But rather than focusing on divorce, Jesus goes back to the beginning of creation to restate the true meaning of marriage.  Marriage involves leaving one's parents and becoming one with your spouse by God's promise and blessing. Literally the word for "becoming one" is like saying they are "glued together".  Once in youth ministry, I heard a talk at camp comparing marriage to two pieces of paper glued together.  When the youth minister invited the kids to try and separate the two pieces of paper both sheets got ripped to shreds.  It was his way of illustrating how much pain and brokenness breaking apart what God has glued together.  Jesus reaffirms God's desire and purpose for marriage which is not divorce but a lifelong commitment. 

But what about Jesus' last comment to the disciples where he says, "If a man divorces his wife and marries another man he commits adultery and if a woman divorces a man and marries another man she commits adultery."  What is valid divorce according to this passage and what is not?  If the divorce is invalid according to the provisions above, then the couple is still married and are still one in God's eyes. Therefore for one of the persons to re-marry is adultery because they are still joined together with their previous spouse.  But if a person is permitted a divorce in the eyes of God based on the teaching above, then they have the right to marry.  Make sense?

Guzik again provides a helpful commentary here,

"There are some that neglect the whole counsel of God and say that God never allows remarriage after divorce. But when we see what the entire Bible says on the subject, we see that if a divorce is made on Biblical grounds (adultery or abandonment by an unbelieving spouse), there is full right to remarry."

I think this teaching provides some important clarifications about when divorce is biblical based or something.  I know and have seen how divorce results in much brokenness and pain for all involved, especially if there are children involved. No one gets married wanting to get divorced. It is a result of our fallen nature.  When counseling couple I have found there are always two sides to the story.  Only God truly knows what is happening and whose heart has become hardened.  

Meanwhile the church should be a place which teaches forgiveness, healing and restoration. We should never lose hope that God can and does restore marriages.  Take a moment and pray for marriages you know of that are in trouble and tender hearts for all who are involved.  It is only with God's love and Jesus' mercy that we can forgive as we are forgiven. This is the only way a broken marriage can be healed and mutual trust restored.