What the Bible Teaches on Sex and Marriage!

1 Corinthians 7 Concerning Married Life

Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. 

If you ever doubted that Paul gets practical in his letters, you haven't read 1 Corinthians 7.  There are many instructions given in this chapter and it is VERY important to understand the context in which this chapter is written and why it is written to a specific group of people.  If not, these verses are open to gross misinterpretation that causes much harm in  church.  Simply put, the church often does poorly in teaching the proper perspective regarding sex in general and sexual intimacy specifically.

From verse 1 you might say, "Why is Paul saying that it is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman?  Is Paul advocating celibacy in marriage?" The answer is no, as you will see if we read the next verses. Paul is quoting the specific question they had asked him not making it normative for the church.  Since sexual immorality was such an issue the believers went to the other extreme and said, "Well maybe we should avoid sex altogether!"  Later, Paul will say not to deprive each other of this gift, which could lead to other problems.  One commentator has this to say about what Paul is saying, 

"The principle in this passage is important. God makes it clear that there is nothing wrong, and everything right, about sex in marriage. Satan’s great strategy, when it comes to sex, is to do everything he can to encourage sex outside of marriage, and to discourage sex within marriage. It is an equal victory for Satan if he accomplishes either plan."

So, we can see Paul is teaching sexual intimacy between spouses is important for a healthy marriage.  While Paul will argue there are some benefits to being single, he is definitely not "anti-marriage".  

For a more complete view of Paul's theology on marriage see Ephesians 5:21-33 .  This is another reason to not take Paul's teaching here out of context. Or, to take one verse and make it normative. (ie. verse 7:1)  He is clearly responding to a specific issue the Corinthians have brought up with him.  In Ephesians he teaches on God's purpose for marriage. He uses the principle of husbands and wives in loving each other as Christ loved the church.  The ultimate secret for a good marriage. Loving each other as Christ loved us, giving up his life for us.  If this was the view of every spouse in marraige to be like Christ to their spouse do you think marriages would be better?  Though none of us is perfect it is certainly worth striving for.   

If you married give thanks for your spouse today.  Think about how God has blessed you through this person.  If your marriage is in trouble get some help.  Find out how each of you is contributing to the problem.  Having done marital counseling for 25 years it is RARELY one's person's issue.  Strong marriages in Christ can be a way Christians show the world God's plan really works!

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