What Does Jesus Teach About Divorce? - Matthew 19:1-12

Since divorce is a sensitive topic, as many in the church have gone through painful divorces, I will do my best to stick to the scriptures for helping us to deal with this topic in the church today. I am going to use the commentary of other scholars on this subject amply to give a really good idea of the context, which is super important as we approach this controversial topic in the church today. Note this was what Jesus taught on divorce, not Paul or Peter.

19 When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. 

"The records of Matthew, Mark, and Luke focus on the Galilean ministry of Jesus, and only emphasize His presence in Jerusalem right before His crucifixion and resurrection. Yet it would be a mistake to believe that this trip from Galilee to the region of Judea was unusual for Jesus. The Gospel of John tells us of many previous visits He made to Judea and Jerusalem. (Guzik)

2 Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.

We see here that the crowds are following him and getting bigger.  As he heads toward Jerusalem, the size of the crowds is one of the reasons the Pharisees and Jewish establishment became so nervous about him.  There were other insurrection leaders before and they feared Jesus was another one with quite a big following. 

Note once again "Jesus healed them ALL!"  Not just some but all.  It doesn't necessarily say they had faith in him as a precursor to him healing them. 

3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?

First of all, notice the Pharisees came to "test" him.  As experts in the law, they thought their superior knowledge of the Law might create and opportunity to trap Jesus and discredit his teaching. 

Here is a little context of the topic of divorce in Jesus' day, which is crucial to a correct understanding and interpretation of the subject.

"Divorce was a controversial topic in Jesus’ day, with two main schools of thought, centered around two of its most famous proponents. The first was the school of Rabbi Shammai (a more strict and unpopular view) and second was the school of Rabbi Hillel (a more lax and popular view)." Guzik

"In theory, the Jews of that day had a high ideal of marriage. Yet they had a low view of women. “The Jews had very low views of women…A wife was bought, regarded as property, used as a household drudge, and dismissed at pleasure.” (Bruce) Today, men also have a low view of women; tragically, women also have a low view of women, and often reject the idea that women should be different than men in any way.

Their low view of women meant that their high ideal of marriage was constantly compromised, and those compromises were made into law, as with the thinking of Rabbi Hillel. Under the thinking of Hillel, “a man could divorce his wife if she spoiled his dinner, if she spun, or went with unbound hair, or spoke to men in the streets, if she spoke disrespectfully of his parents in his presence, or if she was a brawling woman whose voice could be heard in the next house. Rabbi Akiba even went the length of saying…that a man could divorce his wife if he found a woman whom he liked better and considered more beautiful.” (Barclay)"

These words were the center of the debate. Each school of thought understood that the Mosaic law gave permission for divorce in Deuteronomy 24:1: When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house. Each side knew and believed Deuteronomy 24:1; the question was, “What constitutes uncleanness?”

The school of Rabbi Shammai understood that uncleanness meant sexual immorality, and said this was the only valid reason for divorce. The school of Rabbi Hillel understood uncleanness to mean any sort of indiscretion; even to the point where for some rabbis, burning a husband’s breakfast was considered valid grounds for divorce. (Guzik)

4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’

Rather than focusing on the traditions and the difference interpretations of them, Jesus goes back to Genesis and will focus his teaching on what the Hebrew scriptures say.  In this case it is Genesis 1:27. Importantly Jesus focuses on the reason for marriage and its positive effects for us.  He doesn't focus on divorce but marriage.

“If marriage is grounded in creation, in the way God has made us, then it cannot be reduced to a merely covenantal relationship that breaks down when the covenantal promises are broken.” (Carson)

5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh?

Note two things.  Marriage flows out of an existing, nuclear family where a man leaves his family and is united with his wife who is from another family.  Important are the words "the two will become one flesh".  This a mystery that only can be explained God as to what this actually means.  This is why the Catholic church considers marriage a sacrament so important. The word "sacrament" comes from the Latin word "sacramentum" which means "sacred thing".  

6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Though Adam and Eve were differently created by God.  

"Despite these fundamental, creation-rooted differences between the natures of men and women, God calls a husband and wife to come together as one, as one flesh. This process of things not alike coming together is part of God’s great work in marriage; the work of sanctifying, and the work of providing a good parental team." Guzik

A lot of people think that the phrase "become flesh' only relates to sexual intercourse, but it is more than that as any married couple knows.

The idea that they shall become one flesh includes the sexual union, but also goes far beyond it. “Marriage is given, not that two people should do one thing together, but that they should do all things together.” (Barclay) “Be glued to her.” (Trapp)

And herein lies the basic admonition Jesus gives regarding divorce.  It is based in Creation and God's joining a man and women together.  For someone to get divorced goes against God's intention, just like any other sin.  This also is a central argument against the polygamy.  

"The two shall become one flesh also prohibits polygamy, and shows that this was God’s intention from the beginning. Though polygamy was allowed under the Old Testament, it was never God’s best – and men should have known so from looking at Genesis 2:24." (Guzik)

7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”

It is important once again to understand that rabbinical tradition was interpreting divorce based on Moses teaching in Deuteronomy 19 and 24.  

"God never commands divorce, but He does permit it.The Pharisees thought that Moses was creating or promoting divorce. In fact, he was controlling it." (Guzik)

8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 

"Divorce is never commanded, but permitted by God in certain circumstances, and God permits it because of the hardness of human hearts. It was as if Jesus said this: “Here is the ideal; and here is the allowance of God when human sinfulness and hardness of heart has made the ideal unobtainable.” Guzik)

Importantly, Jesus reinforces God's intention for marriage when he says, "But it was not that way from the beginning."  God's intention was for marriage to be a blessing.  It not only help a man and women to fulfill the command to "be fruitful and multiply" but a gift from God.  A man and a woman become intimate and one through intimacy and also by being "helpmates"  I.e. "It is not good for man to be alone."  

9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

Once again Jesus turns the tables.  In the Mosiac Law in Deut. 24, the focus was on a women not being allowed to marry again, where here Jesus says that if a man tries to find a reason other than sexual intimacy, he must not marry again or HE commits adultery.  Why?  Because men were taking advantage of the law and divorcing for any reason they found something "unclean" with their wives.  

"Jesus interpreted the meaning of the word uncleanness in the Mosaic Law, showing that it refers to sexual immorality, not just anything that might displease the husband. Therefore, divorce – and the freedom to remarry without sin – is only permitted in the case of sexual immorality."

For additional teaching on divorce outside of Jesus in the New Testament go to Paul's admonition to the Corinthians on the subject in 1 Corinthians 7.  

The reason a married man commits adultery if he takes another woman and has sexual relations with her is becaue he was never divorced in God's eyes and still one with his wife.  

10 The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”

His disciples, upon hearing Jesus' teaching, ask a relevant question.  If this is such a serious issue, should we ever get married.  

"The disciples understood Jesus’ teaching on marriage and divorce clearly. They understood that it was not a commitment to be entered into quickly or lightly, and considered that since marriage is so binding before God, then maybe it is better not to marry." (Guzik)

11 Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given.

Jesus does not back down, dilute, or minimize the commitment it takes to be married.  Jesus also might be saying if you cannot be content with just one spouse, it is better not to marry.  

It is interesting as you look at our world and all the pain and heartache that is caused by infidelity, one cannot help but realize the absolute wisdom and timelessness of Jesus' teaching here.  We can disobey God's law due to the hardness of our hearts, but there will be consequences as with any sin.   

12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.

This is a seemingly odd statement that is hard to make sense of. Guzik helps us understand the meaning of the word "eunuch", which is not used much today. 

"The term eunuch was used figuratively for those who voluntarily abstain from marriage. Jesus here gave three kinds of eunuchs.

· Those who are born without the capacity for sex and marriage.

· Those who are made by others without the capacity for sex and marriage.

- Those who choose to live without sex and marriage for the kingdom of heaven’s sake."

I hope this commentary helps you see God's intention for marriage.  Importantly marriage is God's intention for something positive and beauttiful.  Though God permitted divorce in certain circumsatnces, like adultery, it is clearly not His will. 

We can also see the traditions of the two rabbincal traditions and the teaching of men varied greatly much like in the church today, you will see widely different teachings about the subject. This is why to the best of our ability under the Holy Spirit's guidance and with the help of scholars who study the culture and context of biblical passages, we can speak God's truth into this difficult subject. 

God's Word has the answer to all of life's most difficult questions.  In some ways this issue has not changed in 2,000 years, as we see divorce is still a highly challenging issue.  And we know that divorce rates are basically the same in the church as in the world.  

On a pastoral note, since I know many people in all the churches I have served have gone through divorce for various reasons, divorce is not worse than any other sin in God's eyes.  Though the consequences are great due to the sanctity and sacramental nature of marriage there is grace, healing, and restoration for those who have gone through divorce.  

What do you think of Jesus' teaching on divorce?  Is it relevant today?  Do you think the church does a good job of teaching Jesus' view of divorce?  Is your church more like the rabbinical interpretation of the Shammai or Hillel based on the definitions above?  

If you have been divorced seek God's grace, healing, and restoration.  I believe after a time of healing, it is appropriate for a Christian to get remarried under the guidance of pastoral or other Christian counseling.