Sometimes the Most Helpful Thing You Can Do For A Friend Is To STOP TALKING!

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Job Wants to Argue His Case with God - Job 13:1-6

13 “Look, I have seen all this with my own eyes and heard it with my own ears, and now I understand. 2 I know as much as you do. You are no better than I am. 3 As for me, I would speak directly to the Almighty. I want to argue my case with God himself. 4 As for you, you smear me with lies. As physicians, you are worthless quacks. 5 If only you could be silent! That’s the wisest thing you could do. 6 Listen to my charge; pay attention to my arguments.

Job is fed up with his advisors who continue to give him really no advice at all. They aren't telling him anything new, and in particular nothing which is of any help to him. As for Job, he wants to speak with God himself. He realizes they are all helpless sinners and God is infinitely greater, wiser, and more all knowing than them. 

He says Job 12:13, 

“But true wisdom and power are found in God; counsel and understanding are his."

Not only do his friends not speak with the wisdom of God, but pile heavier burdens on him assuming he is the reason for his own problems. Though they are self proclaimed doctors, they don't know how to treat the sick at all, and actually make their lives worse with their trite and anemic prescriptions. 

Our human nature is to want to fix, control, judge, manipulate and have power over others. So when someone around us gets in trouble, we want to solve the problem for them, especially those closest to us. In our anxiety we become judge and jury, and we can even use the bible as our gavel. 

While sometimes we need to speak the truth in love with someone has clearly crossed the line, in many cases we don't have the answer as to why someone is suffering. We play God when we assume we know what they need, or what they have done wrong to bring on their current plight. 

I think it is sort of humorous when Job says in effect, "Will you please be quiet!" Sometimes the most helpful thing we can do is to STOP TALKING!

So this is a good example of how not to comfort a friend who is suffering, especially in regard to their relationship with God. So what can we offer a friend who is suffering and/or questioning their faith? 

1. Most importantly we can show empathy and seek first to understand what they are going through. To be with someone, to listen to them, and enter into their suffering with them is the greatest thing we can do with a fellow brother or sister in Christ who is suffering.  

Paul says in Galatians 6:2, 

"Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."

2. Offer to pray for them. Note some people may not want to pray, so you should always ask. IF they don't want to you can ask if you can pray for them on your own. Why pray? Because you didn't cause the problem and can't solve the problem, go to the one who can and will in His way and time. 

3. Be willing to serve them in helpful ways. I.e. Getting a meal for them, picking up their kids, or doing errands for them. These are the everyday things someone going through suffering can barely manage. It shows Christ's love tangibly and is evidence that God will still provide for them. Most importantly it is ACTUALLY HELPFUL!

When you think of it this is how Jesus responded to people in need. He was kind and compassionate with them. He interceded to the Father on their behalf. And finally, Jesus chose to bear their burden in the most personal way possible by going to the cross. 

Who can you show true empathy toward today? People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.  And when we truly care for them it shows that Jesus cares.