Married Life!

Reflection: In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul deals with the topic of sexuality.  One of the reasons Paul felt it necessary to write this letter was that sexual immorality was rampant in the early church here, and Paul writes to give wise teaching and practical advice on how to handle this hot topic.  And as usual this is very helpful for us today, if we make sure to keep it in the context of when it was written and why.  You see some might take from Paul’s teaching that it is not good to get married at all.  Is this Paul’s point? I don’t think so.  Paul is writing from the point of view of someone who has embraced the gift of celibacy, and he realizes how much more he can do in mission for God without the responsibility that marriage brings.

Having been someone who has been in full time ministry since 1994, and didn’t get married until 8 years later, there is a different capacity and availability of a single person vs. a married person.  And this is differentiated further when a couple decides to have children.  I wonder what Paul would have said about that one?  But as Martin Luther pointed out going from being a monk to being married with kids, there were many beneficial aspects of being married and being a father. 

Number one, in marriage he began to understand the covenantal love that God has for us, as we commit ourselves to sacrificially love, support and honor our spouses.  Secondly, by having kids it helped him to realize the love God has for His own children, and in parenting how discipline, love and patience all work themselves out (albeit sometimes slowly!).  So the point here is that there are benefits to being single in relationship to our capacity to minister for God, and benefits to being married.  Each one is called in differently ways to love and serve God!

With all that being said, Paul gets intensely practical when he encourages couples to have regular intimacy and not to deprive each other except by mutual consent.  Like all other aspects of marriage, there is a giving and receiving and done so in love, as a contrast to sex outside of marriage which is often extremely selfish. 

We also see here the extremely interesting teaching Paul gives on the believing spouse sanctifying the unbelieving spouse.  Since those who marry to each other are joined in a mystical union that can only be explained by God (the two become one), there is a sense in which their souls are united and the believer’s soul has an effect on the unbeliever’s soul.  This is further explained when Paul says the children of this marriage are likewise holy.  This again speaks to the covenant love of God, and how being born into a Christian family makes you part of God’s covenant family.  This is also linked to a theology of infant baptism where an infant is brought by a family to be baptized, washed clean and part of God’s family and the community of faith.  Of course this need to be followed up with teaching on how they are saved by grace through faith based on the Word and by what Jesus has done for them.     

Sounds tricky, but actually it is very consistent when you recognize that God’s does for us what we cannot do for ourselves in adopting us as his children.  As we grow to learn what this means to be God’s son or daughter our lives flow in alignment with the will and power of our heavenly Father and what He has done for us through Christ.  And then as Paul says we are to “live a life worthy of our calling in Christ Jesus!”

  

Psalm 54

For the director of music. With stringed instruments. A song of David. When the Ziphites had gone to Saul and said, “Is not David hiding among us?”

1 Save me, O God, by your name;

    vindicate me by your might.

2 Hear my prayer, O God;

    listen to the words of my mouth.

3 Arrogant foes are attacking me;

    ruthless people are trying to kill me—

    people without regard for God.

4 Surely God is my help;

    the Lord is the one who sustains me.

5 Let evil recoil on those who slander me;

    in your faithfulness destroy them.

6 I will sacrifice a freewill offering to you;

    I will praise your name, Lord, for it is good.

7 You have delivered me from all my troubles,

    and my eyes have looked in triumph on my foes.

Job 31

31 “I made a covenant with my eyes

    not to look lustfully at a young woman.

2 For what is our lot from God above,

    our heritage from the Almighty on high?

3 Is it not ruin for the wicked,

    disaster for those who do wrong?

4 Does he not see my ways

    and count my every step?

5 “If I have walked with falsehood

    or my foot has hurried after deceit—

6 let God weigh me in honest scales

    and he will know that I am blameless—

7 if my steps have turned from the path,

    if my heart has been led by my eyes,

    or if my hands have been defiled,

8 then may others eat what I have sown,

    and may my crops be uprooted.

9 “If my heart has been enticed by a woman,

    or if I have lurked at my neighbor’s door,

10 then may my wife grind another man’s grain,

    and may other men sleep with her.

11 For that would have been wicked,

    a sin to be judged.

12 It is a fire that burns to Destruction;

    it would have uprooted my harvest.

13 “If I have denied justice to any of my servants,

    whether male or female,

    when they had a grievance against me,

14 what will I do when God confronts me?

    What will I answer when called to account?

15 Did not he who made me in the womb make them?

    Did not the same one form us both within our mothers?

16 “If I have denied the desires of the poor

    or let the eyes of the widow grow weary,

17 if I have kept my bread to myself,

    not sharing it with the fatherless—

18 but from my youth I reared them as a father would,

    and from my birth I guided the widow—

19 if I have seen anyone perishing for lack of clothing,

    or the needy without garments,

20 and their hearts did not bless me

    for warming them with the fleece from my sheep,

21 if I have raised my hand against the fatherless,

    knowing that I had influence in court,

22 then let my arm fall from the shoulder,

    let it be broken off at the joint.

23 For I dreaded destruction from God,

    and for fear of his splendor I could not do such things.

24 “If I have put my trust in gold

    or said to pure gold, ‘You are my security,’

25 if I have rejoiced over my great wealth,

    the fortune my hands had gained,

26 if I have regarded the sun in its radiance

    or the moon moving in splendor,

27 so that my heart was secretly enticed

    and my hand offered them a kiss of homage,

28 then these also would be sins to be judged,

    for I would have been unfaithful to God on high.

29 “If I have rejoiced at my enemy’s misfortune

    or gloated over the trouble that came to him—

30 I have not allowed my mouth to sin

    by invoking a curse against their life—

31 if those of my household have never said,

    ‘Who has not been filled with Job’s meat?’—

32 but no stranger had to spend the night in the street,

    for my door was always open to the traveler—

33 if I have concealed my sin as people do,

    by hiding my guilt in my heart

34 because I so feared the crowd

    and so dreaded the contempt of the clans

    that I kept silent and would not go outside—

35 (“Oh, that I had someone to hear me!

    I sign now my defense—let the Almighty answer me;

    let my accuser put his indictment in writing.

36 Surely I would wear it on my shoulder,

    I would put it on like a crown.

37 I would give him an account of my every step;

    I would present it to him as to a ruler.)—

38 “if my land cries out against me

    and all its furrows are wet with tears,

39 if I have devoured its yield without payment

    or broken the spirit of its tenants,

40 then let briers come up instead of wheat

    and stinkweed instead of barley.”

The words of Job are ended.

1 Corinthians 7:1-16

Concerning Married Life

7 Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. 8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. 12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? Psalm 27:1

Jesus said, “Why are you afraid, you of little faith?” Matthew 8:26

Prince of Peace, if we have nothing to fear then let us not live to make other people fear us. Help us lay down our weapons, showing our trust in you and your peace that passes logic, and help us invite others into this more faithful way. Amen.