"Those Who Marry Will Face Troubles in This Life" - Paul

Reflection: Paul says the ominous words in 1 Corinthians 7, “Those who marry will face many troubles in this life.”  For Paul is it not if, but when these troubles will come!  And we see in statistics that around 50% of marriages end in divorce, both in the secular world and in the Church.  What gives?    

I read this article recently entitled, “The honeymoon is over…or is it?”  And, after citing the above statistics, it said:

“Marriage is a union of two imperfect people coming together in a fallen and sinful world, both with good and bad traits, habits, sins, selfish desires…….both like sheep…gone astray and wanting to be happy. Paul says it's a formula for trouble. Jesus says even though you will have trouble, take heart because there is a solution.” (marriage.infomedia.com)

The article goes on to list 15 basic principles that will help one to get married and stay married!  15, Wow that is a big number!  It must be hard work!  Yes, but the hard work starts with being in a right relationship with God.  Before we can have a right relationship with another, especially our spouse, we need to tend to our relationship with God.  And we know that God has made this relationship possible through His Son.  Through Jesus we can be made right with God, which paves the way to have a right relationship with others. 

In fact, Paul uses Jesus as a prototype in describing the type of relationship which will actually work.  Paul says to men in Ephesians, “Just as Jesus gave himself up for the church so husbands you should love your wives.”  He goes even further to say, “Husband’s love your wives as you love yourselves!”  And he also says and “And wives respect your husbands”.  Without getting into all the difference between those two imperatives, I think we can say the only way to have a successful marriage and avoid being in the wrong 50% category is to understand what Paul is telling us.

What is he telling us?  The only way to make a marriage work, and in fact any relationship, is to die to yourselves and live to serve and honor the other person.  What does this mean?  First, it means you will not always have to be right, even when you are.  I know that is a tough one.  Second, it means there will be times when you will give and not get anything back.  Third, it will mean forgiving someone even when they are not sorry, just as the Lord has forgiven you.  And finally, it will mean truly loving them and seeking out what is best for them even if it means a sacrifice for you.  If Jesus is the model, and this is what He did for the Church, then doesn’t it make sense that this would be the only way to truly love your spouse? 

But what is the only ultimate way to test this?  As my Grandpa used to say, “Try it you’ll like it!”   And know that as you remain in His love, you will have a power greater than yourself to love like never before.  As the song goes, “They will know we are Christians by our love, by our love!”  The time is now to show the world that this is true.

Psalm 55:9-15

9 Lord, confuse the wicked, confound their words,

    for I see violence and strife in the city.

10 Day and night they prowl about on its walls;

    malice and abuse are within it.

11 Destructive forces are at work in the city;

    threats and lies never leave its streets.

12 If an enemy were insulting me,

    I could endure it;

if a foe were rising against me,

    I could hide.

13 But it is you, a man like myself,

    my companion, my close friend,

14 with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship

    at the house of God,

as we walked about

    among the worshipers.

15 Let death take my enemies by surprise;

    let them go down alive to the realm of the dead,

    for evil finds lodging among them.

Job 34:1-28

34 Then Elihu said:

2 “Hear my words, you wise men;

    listen to me, you men of learning.

3 For the ear tests words

    as the tongue tastes food.

4 Let us discern for ourselves what is right;

    let us learn together what is good.

5 “Job says, ‘I am innocent,

    but God denies me justice.

6 Although I am right,

    I am considered a liar;

although I am guiltless,

    his arrow inflicts an incurable wound.’

7 Is there anyone like Job,

    who drinks scorn like water?

8 He keeps company with evildoers;

    he associates with the wicked.

9 For he says, ‘There is no profit

    in trying to please God.’

10 “So listen to me, you men of understanding.

    Far be it from God to do evil,

    from the Almighty to do wrong.

11 He repays everyone for what they have done;

    he brings on them what their conduct deserves.

12 It is unthinkable that God would do wrong,

    that the Almighty would pervert justice.

13 Who appointed him over the earth?

    Who put him in charge of the whole world?

14 If it were his intention

    and he withdrew his spirit and breath,

15 all humanity would perish together

    and mankind would return to the dust.

16 “If you have understanding, hear this;

    listen to what I say.

17 Can someone who hates justice govern?

    Will you condemn the just and mighty One?

18 Is he not the One who says to kings, ‘You are worthless,’

    and to nobles, ‘You are wicked,’

19 who shows no partiality to princes

    and does not favor the rich over the poor,

    for they are all the work of his hands?

20 They die in an instant, in the middle of the night;

    the people are shaken and they pass away;

    the mighty are removed without human hand.

21 “His eyes are on the ways of mortals;

    he sees their every step.

22 There is no deep shadow, no utter darkness,

    where evildoers can hide.

23 God has no need to examine people further,

    that they should come before him for judgment.

24 Without inquiry he shatters the mighty

    and sets up others in their place.

25 Because he takes note of their deeds,

    he overthrows them in the night and they are crushed.

26 He punishes them for their wickedness

    where everyone can see them,

27 because they turned from following him

    and had no regard for any of his ways.

28 They caused the cry of the poor to come before him,

    so that he heard the cry of the needy.

1 Corinthians 7:25-40

Concerning the Unmarried

25 Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26 Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. 27 Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this. 29 What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not; 30 those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; 31 those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord. 36 If anyone is worried that he might not be acting honorably toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if his passions are too strong and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married. 37 But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin—this man also does the right thing. 38 So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better. 39 A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. 40 In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.

I will make with you an everlasting covenant. Isaiah 55:3

We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised. Hebrews 6:12 (NIV)

Lord, you named yourself “I Am that I Am” – a title of stability in a world that is confusing and ever changing, with new aims and ways to achieve them almost daily. Satisfyingly, we keep our eyes fixed on you, our one destination, knowing its way. Amen.