Matthew 19 - What Is Jesus' Stance on Divorce?

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What Is Happening in Matthew 19?

Jesus teaches about divorce in response to the Pharisees who are trying to get him to go against the Law of Moses. In the meantime, Jesus gives us probably the clearest explanation of the nature and purpose of marriage, and to view divorce in light of it.  Jesus again points out the value of children, when the people try to hinder them from coming to him. Finally, Jesus talks about the nature of eternal life, the key to entering it, and the role of works in doing so. 

Divorce

We know from most statistics that roughly 50% of marriages end in divorce. When a person is on a second or third marriage, the percentage goes up even higher. It is often cited that divorce is as high among Christians, as in the world. This is somewhat true though data varies depending on where you look. What is conclusive is that if a Christian couple is mutually committed to their faith, the percentage goes down drastically. 

So what does Jesus teach about divorce in Matthew 19? 

First of all it must be noted that in Jesus' culture divorce was very different than ours. Women could not divorce men, and men could divorce a woman for almost any reason. 

Jesus starts at what is the essence of marriage. It starts with the fact that God made humankind in His own image. Male and female He created them. Though we are not incomplete, if we don't get married, when we do get married, we become one physically and spiritually with our spouse. In this sense marriage is sacred. Marriage is a sacred bond or covenant initiated and sustained by God. 

Becoming one with another in marriage is a mystery, which can only be explained by God. It is sort of like we can't really explain how Jesus is 100% man and 100% God. Or, God is One, yet revealed in Three Persons. 

But then the Pharisees press Jesus on the fact that the Pharisees allowed a man to give a woman a certificate of divorce. The question was for what reason could a man ask for a divorce. The division about the rabbis was based on their interpretation of Deuteronomy 24:1,

"When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house."

Each side knew and believed Deuteronomy 24:1; the question was, “What constitutes uncleanness?

There were two rabbinic schools that trained rabbi's. The school of Rabbi Shammai (a strict and unpopular view), and the school of Rabbi Hillel (a more lax and popular school). Rabbi Shammai taught that the only reason for divorce could be sexual immorality, whereas for Rabbi Hillel uncleanness meant any sort of indiscretion. 

Their low view of women meant that their high ideal of marriage was constantly compromised, and those compromises were made into law, as with the thinking of Rabbi Hillel. Under the thinking of Hillel, “a man could divorce his wife if she spoiled his dinner, if she spun, or went with unbound hair, or spoke to men in the streets, if she spoke disrespectfully of his parents in his presence, or if she was a brawling woman whose voice could be heard in the next house. Rabbi Akiba even went the length of saying…that a man could divorce his wife if he found a woman whom he liked better and considered more beautiful.” (Barclay)

So why did Moses provide an exception for divorce and how did Jesus teach on this?

"Divorce is never commanded, but permitted by God in certain circumstances, and God permits it because of the hardness of human hearts. It was as if Jesus said this: “Here is the ideal; and here is the allowance of God when human sinfulness and hardness of heart has made the ideal unobtainable.”

At the end of the day Jesus teaches, 

"I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”"

This teaching of Jesus shows us that marriage, as a promise made to God, to our spouse and to the world, is a binding promise, and cannot be broken at our own discretion. If God does not recognize the promise being broken, then it is not.

One must admit that this is a hard teaching from Jesus. There are many reasons people give today to justify divorce that do not fulfill the two Biblical allowances for divorce.

Divorce is bad for everyone involved. It creates much pain for the two involved, their kids, and their extended family. It is not God's will or His intention, and yet there is grace for those who have been divorced. For some who have been through a divorce, it was not their intention. Many divorces are the result of one or both of the persons being unfaithful to their marriage vow.  No one gets married hoping it will one day end in divorce.

The sexual union between and man and woman is sacred bond. To go and share this union with someone outside of that sacred bond rips apart what God has sewn together. The church needs do a better job of preparing young couples for marriage. The church needs to do a better job teaching about sexuality to our young people. We need to help those dating or engaged on the proper boundaries for physical intimacy before getting married. 

We can do much better than we are doing. The statistics bear that out. 

The Little Children and Jesus

When people brought little children to Jesus, the disciples thought he had better things to do with his time, so they tried to prevent them. Jesus then rebuked his disciples saying, "Do not hinder them for such belongs the kingdom of God!" 

I love churches that have children involved in their worship services. I love when kids' read lessons or help with the prayers or ushering. We wonder why kids leave the church when they go to college, but maybe they never felt apart of the church when they were there. We need to see kids the same way Jesus does, 

"To such belongs the kingdom!"

The Rich and the Kingdom of God

The key thing to remember when interpreting this next passage is the words the man says, "What good things must I do to inherit eternal life?"

He is assuming he can do something. He is assuming he can do something to earn it. He assumes that whatever he does is good enough to satisfy God's requirements. He even assumes he knows what is good, which is where Jesus starts. He asks the man, 

"Why do you ask me about what is good?" This seems like a strange comment from Jesus. After all does he not know what is good? Of course he does, but what he is getting at is the man's definition of good. Besides, being Jewish, he should know God's definition of who is good by looking at the Ten Commandments. Those who keep the commandments are good in God's eyes. 

But as Jesus taught on the Sermon on the Mount, there is the letter of the law, and the Spirit of the Law. For instance, Jesus taught that whoever looks at person lustfully has committed adultery in their heart. In this case, the man thinks he has kept the letter of law. He says, "I have kept all the commandments!" 

Look at me Jesus, I am doing pretty good. Will that get me into eternal life?  But then Jesus will ask him a question which will force him look to at look at the Spirit of the 1st Commandment to have no other gods, but God alone. 

Jesus asks him to sell all his possessions, give the proceeds to the poor, and then follow him. But when the man considered this he went away sad realizing that he could not give up his real god, money! 

Then, Jesus turns to check in on the disciples. I'm sure they were quite taken back by the whole scene. After all, would they sell all to follow Jesus. They were not wealthy, but they did give up jobs and family to follow Jesus. So Jesus adds, 

“Truly I tell you, it is hard for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven. 24 Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.” 

Is Jesus saying you can't be rich and get into heaven? How can a camel get through a needle anyways?

Jesus is making a point that you can never do enough good works to make it into heaven. It is as preposterous as trying to get a camel through the eye of a needle. You see the rich man started by asking the wrong question, "What must good works must I do to obtain eternal life?" 

Jesus had to expose the fact that the man was not even keeping the 1st commandment, let alone all of them. It threw the disciples for a loop too. After all, they had given up a lot. Weren't they going to inherit eternal life? Had Jesus sold them a false bill of goods. After hearing Jesus explanation to the rich young man, they exclaim, "Who then can be saved?"

Jesus gives the key to the whole story when he says, 

“With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

It is impossible for us to keep the 10 Commandments. We break many of them during the day. But what was impossible for us to do, God made possible by sending Jesus to save us from our sin and fulfill all of the law of the prophets. 

Do You Believe This?